Brave New Sacrifice
by fenix-women
Summary: After a few PM's request I edited this story ; This is my version for Nikita S03E10: when Nikita goes rogue to catch the Doctor to heal Michael's hand and Michael goes after her... Possible prologue if reviews are enough.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok! I had this on my mind, ever since I saw s03x10 promo. This is my version of events for that episode that not yet happend (nor I doubt it ever will). Brutality rated K+. Be advised. **

**Chapter 1**

Her stranded wrists was the worst, barbed wire that raised her up in the air, craving her flesh deep, inch by inch, at the smalest move and kept her bare feet from touching the ground. She could feel the warm blood slithering away along her arms, elbows and shoulders. More blood was pouring out of her forehead into her eyes, thanks to a fresh wound - cortesy of one of the new guards - making her vision clouddy. It was hard to even breath with all the barbed wire around her ribs that craved deeper as she did. Nikita could smell, feel and taste her own blood draining the life out of her into that pool on the floor, drop by drop. It was agonizing. It was like she could see everything in slow motion. The beating, the yelling... the pain. It didn't matter. She had finished her mission. It didn't matter what _he_ would do to her. She just wished that _he_ would finished her off soon. But she knew better... He was a sadistic bastard, he would take his time. He was wrong dow. By the amount of blood lost in her and the one dripping on the floor, she knew she didn't had much time. A sad smile outcrop her lips at that thought.

Another hit of the club on her back took her by surprise. She almost yelled this time, but didn't. She hang on. Same as the last ten hours, she clenched her teeths and undured the following beating by holding her breath and focus her mind on another point. Another hit, this time stronger, angrier, and another one and another one...

By this time, her all body was so sored that she barely felt any pain. Still she felt the crude impacts over and over again but was like she was outside her body, so far away. A distante Albanian voice was yelling at far.

"Where is he?! SPEAK!... SPEAK!"

She remembered how everything started...

She remembered awaking up from another nightmare, scared, breathless and, once more, alone in bed.

Abandoned. That's what she felt, that's what she _ever_ felt for the last four weeks now.

Guilt. Guilt was next. She cut off Michael's hand to save him from being blown to pieces and it took all of her strengh to do so, but that was the only thing she could do. She couldn't let him die, not him. And she tried... She tried so much to help him, be his support, to be wathever he wanted her to be... but he kept pushing her away, evading her. He needed space now. He needed space from everyone, including her. Yes. Nikita had saved him that day but now she was "the enemy". She was sure of that the day he yelled "- You _helped_ enough!". He did blame her of everything... Her heart broke that instante and she had to run off before the tears felt right there. She cried for hours hidden out from everybody, from_ him_. She didn't know what to do anymore.

Eventually she did give him his space, hopping... praying, he still remembered that she was still her fiancé, that she was still there if he wanted her to. Owen was her partner now because his hand wasn't good enough for what they did in life. It was a hard blow for her but she got the message. She even accepted it. But two months had passed and he was still sleeping in Medical and she was still sleeping alone. Conversations were now kept to a minimum and Nikita was almost sure that Michael didn't love her anymore. It was unberable. To see him at far talking to so many people, manytimes yelling around in frustation and avoiding her like the plague. She felt like crap on a sidewalk. Useless. This was all her fault. What was she even doing here? Hanging to something it wasn't there anymore. Tears were about to form again when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder turning her around.

"Nikki, we have to talk."

By then Birkhoff told her that he lied about the top technology for Michael. It actually was a better solution for his hand. A dangerous one. A doctor that could actually create full limbs from a single sample of DNA. The problem was he was a prisioner of a sadistic Kosovo Coronel. His property, fully locked in a military full prove quartel in a middle of nowhere. No way in and certainly no way out. And sudenly a light came across Nikita's mind. Like a torch of hope at the end of a long, long tunnel. She would get that doctor! Even if that was the last thing she ever did. She would, for him. For Michael. Maybe with that he could smile again, he could be the man she once knew and maybe... just maybe he could even forgive her.

That night she couldn't sleep. So many things in her mind or perhaps she had forgotten about the discomfort of a second class comercial airplane. That same afternoon she organized every detail. She bought the ticket after she'd secretly copied Birkhoff's intel and took only porcelain non-detected weaponry from the armory. She made sure she wrote tree small messages to the tree persons that she knew that would there by next morning, and sealed tight each envelope.

To Ryan:

"Keep up the good work! If anyone can, it's you. The kids depend on you now. Nikita"

To Birkhoff:

"You rock, nerd! Thanks for everything. Keep an eye on Michael. Nikita"

To Michael she took off her ring, once precious to both of them was now only a remembrance of a failed promise. She stared a couple of seconds at it before sliping it into the envelope and grabing a piece of paper where she wrote something. She selled the envelope, glided into the deserted Medical and slide it beneath Michael's pillow. He would find it next morning by the time she would be long gone. At the last second she changed her mind and kept the envelope. What if he would find it before she completed the mission? No. She couldn't have that. She didn't knew his habbits anymore.

A sudden sorrow took over her at the notion she didn't knew him anymore, that she wasn't part of his life ... soon it would all be true at every sense of the word.

She really hope he could forgive her because it wasn't in her planes to come back. No. After a carefull study of that quartel and the way she would do this, she knew this was a one way mission. This would be her last one.

While on the plane she looked at a girl wraping her arms at a boy and kissing him. Nikita remembered Alex. She didn't leave a message for Alex. She didn't want to bother Alex, now that she was on top of her hapiness with her boy-scout. She was happy for her. She was going to be ok.

An old woman in front frowned her face, leaned at Nikita and asked in fluent Albanian.

"I can see the mark on your finger. Divorced?"

Nikita sadly smiled, for some reason, she didn't felt like liying.

"Ex-engaged." Her accent perfect. She could still surprise herself, even after years not speaking Kosovo most comum dialect, it came out naturally. And that seemed to satisfy the lady's natural curiosity as she pulled her blanket and rolled back to sleep.

Nikita stared at her naked finger and the rain beating on the small glass window outside and all of a sudden she felt more alone than ever. A cold shiver ran through her spine.

She knew every single move after the plane landed. In two hours she was inside the alleged impenetrable quartel. She pulled her way into an old drainage on the east side of the complex, a one not guarded and found the cell that locked up the Doctor. Her left leg was still a little swallon from her last hour improvised operation. The two guards were easy to take down.

The god Doctor initially afraid and relunctant agreed to her plan of escape. The only condiction was to fix a man called Michael. He followed the same route her saviour told him to, with a tracker between his teeths. Nikita's personal Division tracker, once implanted in her leg.

And he was out, as easy as that. Nobody followed him because they were too busy following the wrong decoy. She made sure of that. He could ear the shootings and the yelling and the alarms. It was all so fast and loud than by the time he was running on the open field all the lights and guards were running inside the prision, oblivious of him. And, just like she said they would, a couple of hours later, a group of well armed man lead by a man called Michael rescued him of that hidden shack she told him to hide. Upon his sight he realized why he was saved. His hand...

"Where is she?!" This man's voice sounded desperate and angry. It made the god doctor shiver. "Why do you have her tracker?"

"Be...because she give it to me."

"Why? Who are you?"

"I... I'm Do... Doctor Ramstein... could you please put you weapons down? You're Michael, right?"

"Yes and you're that Doctor! How did she took you out of there?!"

"She told me to fix you. And then you would let me go..."

"She's right. But I need to talk to her first. Where is she?"

"Where?! She didn't came out with me. She stayed in there! She told me to give you this..." With a shaky hand he slided an envelope into Michael's hand.

It was the same type of envelope Ryan and Birkhoff had receveid back in headquarters. In everyone's were a kind of goodbye message that scared the hell out of every one. There had been no goodbye for him and, as much as it scared him too, it also give him a sense of hope. Hope that she wasn't doing what he tought she was going to do, once he eard Birkhoff's story. It all crumbled apart at the sight of that envelope...

**Ok... What do you think?... Chapter 2 on the oven...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

He fast grabed the envelope and open it. Inside, he found her engagement ring and a small piece of paper:

"I'm sorry... for everything."

She didn't bother writing her name or anything else. And just like that he knew what she meant. Sundenly, he felt her pain.

It came up to him the time he blamed her for all that and he, instantly, regreated it but before he could amend it, she ran off with tears on her eyes. He didn't bother chasing her. He was a creep. She deseved better. The hurt he'd caused her, consequently hurting himself he found out to be the trigger to finally make his metal hand close. How ironic was that? That alone enraged him so much that he turned his frustation into the nearest locker. Trying to gobble the guilt and pain in every troughing punch. The locker was smashed and bent but he still felt like crap.

The diamond lustered silently at the dim light on the shaft and it broke his heart into pieces.

He asked her space and in the middle he started to wonder if she wasn't better off with someone else rather more complete than he was. Someone that could protect her and love her without being a burden, the way he flet he was. He couldn't even button up his shirt without help, for Crist's sake! He was getting accustomed to that ideia, day by day, even if the loneliness was killing him inside out. This was probably for the best. She deserved better...

When Birkhoof, in a guilty-consciousness and waiving letter, come to him with the doctor-Dna story, he knew what she went to do. He knew that she would take all risks for him. And upon the sudden ideia of losing her... to spend a all life-time without her. No. That would be the death of him. She was everything to him. Now more than any other day or time he realized that. This all thing with his hand had been comsuming him day by day and he knew he had pushed her away too many times, too far.

He knew she was recoursefull enough to get out of any situation. But _why _had she chosen to stay behind? Tears arise to his eyes and treatened to fall but he hang on.

The way he had treated her this couple of weeks it led her to this. In their last metting she call out for him. She pleaded him to be her partner in_ life_, she wanted him to fight for her and he just walked away, like a stupid child tomented by his own selfish fears, unable to give her an answer. Unable to even reply her kiss back, savouring those lips he so much loved.

Time was ticking... He had to fix this! He knew what he was up against to get her back. But failing was not an option and even an all army wouldn't stop him from getting her back.

The soldier in him kicked in as Michael coldly ordered a retriving team to collect the scared Doctor home and prep the Alpha team with the blue prints of the building they were about to seize...

Another electric shock rocked her all body. Blood was sloshing now from her mouth. Nilita felt the end was near. She felt so weak and numb. She could barely see or ear anything. She had been in and out of consciousness for, what seemed, an eternity. Just a few more and she would finally rest her sorrows in Hell. A pacefull change she would gladly embrace.

But, all of a sudden, the alarm break out. Running. Shootings. Screams. The guards that once surrounded her were now backing down and dropping dead on the floor. Nikita didn't even had the strengh to lift her head up. She couldn't see anything except smudging figures around slowing circuling her around.

The coronel, once so superior, so sure of himself, was the last man standing in a sea of dead bodys around. Gutless as he was he ran behind the prisioner, seeking hidding as he pointed a gun at her head.

"STAY BACK, you ear me?! I'll KILL the whore!"

It was so hard for her to talk and she spitted blood a few times before a choked, husky voice came trough.

"Go on... Do it!"

The coronel looked shocked at Nikita like he was looking at a statue that sudenly had came to live, after hours without one word, and was now speaking with him, in his own languange.

The soldiers look at the lider's aprovall to gun down the last member but the answer was a shake of the head. They understood and just stood montionless, guns firmly pointed up.

Nikita barely saw a fast troughing figure at the pointed gun that, with two braced blows, disarmed the general's gun to the floor.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" - He grabbed the coward by the collar and shoved him against the nearest wall.

After seeing Nikita's messed up condition, Michael lost control of himself. That bastard had clearly been her torturer. His robotic hand curled into a fist that spoke his own mind as he hit him again and again. Teeths were flying out, bones were broking.

Nikita's heart jolted when she recognize Michael's voice. How was he where? Hadn't he given up on field work? Could she be imagining things? She was fighting so hard to just keep herself awake that she could barelly think.

"THAT'S MY FIANCÉ!" She'd ear him yelled. It was him, after all! A glimpse of naive joy ran trough her all body just thinking he was there for her, but then she remembered he might be there to save the Doctor, that would give him a new hand and she felt hurt.

Michael's last punch was so hard that he literally shoved the general's face inside out, spreading bones and brain matter across the wall as he did. He let the dead glide off to the ground.

He, himself was covered in blood and grey matter. He couldn't remember the last time he'd use such violence to kill a man. Guess, last time, he wasn't that enfuriated as he was right now and, last time he didn't had an iron fist at his disposal either. He grinned. He was lucky Nikita was still breathing it granted him a merceful death. This was way better than he actually deserve: a quick death - no matter how violent it was- was always a good death. Not like we was doing to Nikita, God knows for how long... Nikita...

He immediately ran to hold her face on his hands. Her eyes didn't even lift up to meet his. She was hardly breathing. Barbed wires cutting her wrists, her stomach, her ankles. There was so much blood in her...out of her. She was so pale. It scared him to the core. She was half naked stringuing silently on the air. There wasn't a piece of her body that wasn't either cut or brused. He never seen her like this in all of their years together, never.

He had to act fast. He ordered the cut of all the wires and as she fallen into his arms, like a rag doll, she managed to open a bit of her eyes.

"Mi-ch-ael?..." - Her voice barelly a whisper.

"Yes, honey. I'm here. It's ok now..."

He has wrapping her most deeper wounds - her the wrists - as fast as he could with the bandages one of the soldier's brought him. There was a medical young agent that helped with her ankles and then moved on to her stomach.

"You've... f-ou-nd hi-m...?" She managed to said.

"Yes, I found him! Now, please baby... save your strengh."

Nikita looked away. A painfull sneer cropped upon her bloody lips.

"What for...?" - She mumbled in a defeated voice.

Michael's heart skipped a beat. He swallowed dry. It hurted him so much to see her like this and her lack of will to live... it wasn't like her. Beaten: body and soul. He was just speculating early on about her real intentions, but now he was sure: she did came there on a suicide mission! He loved her with all his heart and she was giving up her life for what? To send him a doctor that would restore his hand. Save his hand... his hand? What was she thinking?! A stupid hand! If he lose her because of that he could never forgive himself. All he wanted was to yell at her. Called her to reason! How could she even do something like this to _them_? But before he could do any of that, she slide into inconsciousness in his arms...

First things first. Michael had to take her out of there alive and then, after a long couple of days of recovery, she will listen him apologize to her, saying just how must of a creep he was to her and then she will listen his long, long sermon about the value of her life to him. That if she would ever think about leaving him again, she would better pray he couldn't find her, because if he did he would spank her all the way home back to him again. That, that ring, was a life-time commitment and that he loved her more than he loved himself.

The jact was crossing the sound barrier when Michael was holding Nikita tight on his lap. She was still out of consciousness, tucked in a warm blanket while two bags of serum hanged in over her. He knew they were almost at their destiny. He smiled down at her as he reachead her right hand and gently sneaked her engagement ring back into her finger. Back into the right place.

Now, her only challenge will be to survive him, if she survive first.

"Hang on, baby. Hang on! We're almost there!"

**Review please, it means the world to me... **


	3. Chapter 3

**I so sorry about the previous grammar mistakes, I'll try to fix them as soon as I have some time... so ... the same aplies to this chapter... I'm writing all this on a rush because my time is short. **

**Chapter 3**

Michael was passing around the corridor with a frown semblance. His heart jumping every time a nurse went running off the room and came back again. He lost track of the time he was waiting there.

Birkhoof, Sonia, Ryan and a medical crew stampeded in at the elevator doors to meet the Apha Team arrival. The twelve pack group unclapsing Michael's way as he carried a bruised and bloody inconscious Nikita in his arms and softly layed her on the strechter to be rolled down to Division I.C.U. in a rush. They all saw the state she was brought him. It was bad. They look at each other and stood there in silent complicity moments before they sat down, one by one at the waiting hallway beside him, and sighted while watching him in concern.

They all loved Nikita but, if she died, they also knew it would tear up Michael inside out as they never seen before and there was nothing they could do about it. There was only one option: Nikita had to live! She had to survive this for the sake of _all_ of them!

Alex and Sean came running one hour later to join the lugrum reunion. Alex blue eyes widing up in shock at the first sight of Michael's bloody cloths. It wasn't his blood, it had to be hers... Everyone looked devasted and she was even afraid to ask, fearing the answer. Carefully she approched the group trying to keep his voice calm, one thing she wasn't.

"How is she?"

Ryan twisted his lips and looked down, Birkhoof and Sonia shook their heads.

"No news yet..."

Michael tormented expression, stepping back and foward, didn't help Alex at her own conclusions. It was bad. Her painfull look reachead Sean's as he silently gesture his agreament to her next move. Slowly she close in on Michael and gently stopped his mad passe. When he looked at her, she was shocked. He was a wreck: his eyes were red and swollen and with dark circles under it. He looked so defeated and sad that it broke her heart.

"Hei! She's strong. She'll get trought this!"

He averted his eyes down and nodded his head.

"I don't know Alex, I just don't know if she wants too..."

Alex seemed puzzeled.

"Of course she wants too. She's the..."

"Alex! She went there with NO WAY OUT PLAN! No back-up. She went there to..." - He couldn't say the word. He swallowed dry. - "This is _all_ my fault!"

Before she could say anything a loud voice pierce the corridor behind.

"YES, IT IS!"

They all turned around to face, in surprise, the familiar voice. Nikita was standing on the corridor with patched up bruises and a Beretta pointed at him. They all stood up in desbelieve. But Michael's only thought was that she was back and_ that _was all that mattered to him. He ran to her when she just squeezed the trigger merciless.

He felt the cold led bullets piercing his lungs one after the other until her clip was empty, while he flew backward into the cold hard floor. He screamed in pain and agony. A question mark writen on his face as he saw her aproaching. She kneeled beside him and hold his head up.

"You know why I had to do this, don't _you_?!"

"Wha-at a...? W-h-y?"

His body was shutting down block by block. He coughted blood, barely breathing. Why had she done this?! Her warm lips slowly brushing his. One last kiss to seal his death? She had killed him and he still wanted it. And wanted it so bad. Her mouth slowly opened and fully sunked into his mouth. He took it completly. Savouring her taste as the cold brise of death spread across his flesh. With a deadly effort he lifted his right hand to caress her face but pulled it away horrified. Standing on his arm was a giant metal eel twisting and stiring with a will of his own. Without any warning, _it_ turned into silver blades that barbarously swung straight trought Nikita's heart and back. She took it with a silent moan as she felt beside him. Her lifeless eyes sadly gazing at him while a single tear rolled away and droped on the floor with a cristal sound.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - His painfull scream echoed every corner of the world making him jolt back to life.

He woke up in distress. Sweet running on his forehead and back. His breathing heavy and loud. Again the same damn nightmare!

He raised his arm and was pleased to see his new hand, still bandaged, on him. The good doctor kept his word and had fixed him with a new hand less than a week ago and then he went on his way, like promised.

5:30AM. He rolled his eyes at the empty bed and got up. He had to get to her. See if anything changed since last night. He was in the bathroom when his phone rang. He fast grabbed it. The voice of the Division doctor, in charge of her, came trought.

"Sir... she woke up."

His heart skiped a beat.

"I'll be right there!"

**I know... I know... 'what a tease' ^^ The real deal will be next chapter...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As he ran trought the corridors, he remembered how hard this last weeks were to him. Due to the blood lost, Nikita slipt into a coma. The doctors said it was a 50-50 survival chance, that it all depended how much she wanted to live.

Instade of the usual calm he was used to whenever he entered Medical, he walked in on a commotion. Several doctors, nurses and recruits were having a serious situation on their hands. Nikita had pulled all her life support wires, all cables and was now struggling to get up, using her I.V. support against all hands.

"Please Miss Mears, please, you can't stand up just yet."

"She can do whatever she wants! LET HER GO!"

Michael's loud voice silenced the room. He was leaning on the doorway, his arms crossed grinning at the all scene. She was back. She was finally back! And she always had been a terrible patient.

Nikita's eyes turned up to him. She seemed confused about his presence there but, as medical staff diligently walked out of the room leaving them alone, she just focused on moving her numb legs. Her body hurted in some areas more than others and still she could stand up by herself but, after fourteen days in a coma, her body couldn't react the way she wanted it to. As she took the first step, her knee gaive in and she swayed away to the floor. Michael rushed, with an unhuman speed, catching her just before she actually did.

"Hei! Eaaaasy..."

A sudden akward moment occurent between them as they gaze at each other just inches away. He helped her back to bed, laying her down to her regular position.

In a flick of an eye, he turned around and left the room. She eard voices on the corridor and when he came back, she was trying to walk again. He rolled his eyes at it and smirked.

Without a word, or even her consent, he picked her up and carried her outside Medical, across the empty corridors.

Her muscles, unwittingly, relaxed at his arms. She leanead her head on his chest and was rewarded by the familiar soft scent of his after-shave. His step, steddy and confident, cradling her safely away to somewhere she didn't really care. She was so tired... She curled closer to his chest and closed her eyes.

She doze off for a brief moment, before waking up, heart jumping, the moment she stoped feeling his conforting arms around, like she had lost something. She had been softly sat on his bed now. At least that's what she guessed, since she never saw the place where he slept while she was sleeping in their house alone.

Michael was supporting her by her shoulders making sure she could actually stand sitted on her own. He was relief to see that brown puzzeled eyes staring back at him. For a brief moment, when she closed her eyes two blocks ago, he was scared beyond his mind just thinking, if by any prank of nature, she hadn't gone back into coma again. He smiled.

She didn't say one word. She lowered her eyes following over the trail of new scars on her legs and arms and, just like a rush of a giant tide, all memories came crashing down on her in a real hard way... She clenched her eyes. Pain! The rogue one way mission, the torture, Michael... So much pain... She finally remembered everything.

She swallowed dry. She felt embaraced. She was supposed to be dead, not there.

"How're feeling?" - His calm voice broke the silent and her own thoughts.

"So-red." - Her voice came out ruskier than she expect to after who knows how long. - "How long have I...?"

"Fourteen days, six hours and..." - He looked at the bedside watch.- "...tirty four minutes."

_He was counting the minutes?! _A tired smile brushed her lips.

"That long, hein...?"

He raised his hand and soflty caressed her cheek. It felt good.

"Yes... too long."

Sundenly she realized it. Her eyes lid up and she fast grabbed his all hand.

"Michael...! You've got your hand back!"

He smiled in complaince when a sudden waive of anger invaded him at the single thought of the price he almost paid. All the pain it took afterwards and he wasn't thinking about the hand implant. No. That pain was easy to bare. He was thinking about all the times in stood helpless by her bedstead and he had stood there, every single day. Praying for one more chance, begging her to not give up on him, begging her for one single tiny reaction. Every single day!

Sundenly, he straighten up and move away. He frowed his eyebrows.

Medical didn't allowed him to sleep at night by her side, or even with her on that same bed, aldow he insisted a few times. So every night he went to that same room, where they were now, and dreamed awake if that would be the night she would finally wake up and join him. He had missed her so much.

His voice came harsher than he wanted.

"WHY, Nikita? WHY have you done this?!"

"What?!" - Wasn't he happy to have his new hand, wasn't that what he wanted more than anything? - "You _KNOW _why!"

He narrowed his eyes like it was saying 'Don't treat me like an idiot!'.

"You went there, on your own, with no back-up and no plans of coming back, weren't you?! That's the reason you left goodbye notes to every one. That's the reason you run off in the middle of the night!"

"Actually the flight was low-coast so..."

He tilted his head straightaway, giving her no room to mockery.

"Look, I did what I had to do to get the Doctor out. That's what was needed, right?!

Michael start passing back and forward, how did it get to this? All he wanted and asked was to take care of her at his own quarters. But this headstrong stubborn women with no humility for a ear-pull was driving him insane. He was so angry at her that it physically hurt.

"See... you've got your hand back!"

That was it! He jumped out on her and punched the lamp beside her, broking it to pieces.

"YOU DON'T GET I, DO YOU?! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT AT MY HAND IF I HAVE TO LOOSE YOU! And I almost lost you, Nikita! Have you any idea what I've felt when I saw you in that quartel?! So beaten, and bruised and cut the way you were?! There was so much blood in there, Nikita! Your blood!... You've been in a coma for fourteen days, Nikita with 50-50 chance of not returning to the living! You know what that was like for me?! Knowing that the reason of you laying in a coma was because of ME?! DO YOU?!"

Nikita was speachless now. She couldn't find the right words.

To Nikita's surprise he just felt to his kneels in front of her, tightly involving her waiste, and leaning down his head on her stomach. She gently leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his head and back, hugging him in that position.

Tears were streaming down his face. This was something she never had seen before, it scared her, it made her tighten his grip around him before she gather the spunk to say something.

"Michael... I ..."

"I'm sorry..." - He cut her off. His voice was trembling and low. - "I'm so sorry..."

The way he was grabbing her, so strongly, almost make her choke out of air, but she hold on.

"Sorry for what?!"

"For everything!" - His face grimaced in pain as he hold her even closer. - "For the way I treated you... for not being there for you... for what you had to endure in that quartel... I'm so sorry, baby. I've been such a jerk and still you went alone against an all army to fight for me. This is all my fault..."

"Noooo Michael, please don't think that way... I did this because... well... I love you."

He slowly raised his head up to meet her eyes. Her lips just inches from his, teasing him. All he wanted was to merged on them. Ease the pain away, feel her once again, instade he just leaned his head on her forehead, afraid of hurting her.

"Damn you, Nikita! Why do you keep doing this to me?! I almost lost you for good this time!"

She wiped his tears with her thumbs and a sad smile.

"But... you didn't."

Her eyes were shinning with a mix of longing and apologize.

He brushed his hands aside, quickly seizing her face and fully sinking his lips on hers.

**Yes, you've guessed where this is going. Nex chapter will be M rated and it'll be the last one... Review. **


	5. Chapter 5 - Parte I

**Ok... This took me a while to write this. So I'm sorry for the time you had to wait. This 100% Mikita, so if you don't like it... leave now. ^^**

**Attention: strong violence included.**

**This is a long last chapter (it had to be), so I divided them into 2 parts... I hope you enjoy it.**

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**Chapter 5 - Part II**

Nikita's breath hitched just before she broke their kiss.

"Michael, please... wait!"

He popped his eyes, wearily reading her features for any signs of pain. When he didn't find any, another thought came rushing trought his mind. _"Oh, You idiot!". _He lowerd his face and sighted.

"Of course..." Michael rasped unable to face her. "It's too soon..."

He quickly stood up, moving away, restraining his own arousal.

"It's ok... I understand." Michael conforted, perhaps more to himself than to her.

Nikita curled her lips up.

"It's not that!" Michael frowned puzzeled. "It's just... I _need_ a bath _soooo badly_..." He suddenly turned around, glancing at her astonished. "Please?..."

Michael bursted a laught so loud that it echoed trought the room but, just as fast, he schooled his face into a mischievous one, as he approachted her again, arms crossed.

"Soooo... you only need _my bathroom_, hein?!" He used his seducing tone while pretending to be offended somewhere in the middle.

She grinned.

"Absolutely."

Her sarcarm was one of a kind and always manage to turn him on.

"Hum-hum." He hummed back with his eyebrown raised, quickly lifted her chin up, pecked her lips and padded to the bathroom with a wide open smile.

When he returned, Nikita was helding on to the footboard, while trying to move her leg forward only to collapse back to bed with a grunt of annoyment. Michael wag his head still smiling.

"You know... Maybe the doctors were right." Nikita immediatly narrowed her eyes at him as a warning sign. He twisted his lips trying to hide another laugh and choose his next words carefully. "You've been _out_ a_ long _time, Nikita. It's only natural that..."

"I hate doctors!" She spatted angry at her own failure. "What do they know?!" .

Michael just smirked as he walked beside her silently.

"Come on, let me help you with this." He said as he slowly started to unbottom her surgical gown.

As the fabric hit the floor and her naked body was exposed to Michael, he shivered.

All her scars, dark bruises, stiched cuts, swallon lumps were there, stabing his view and ripping his soul apart. He knew just how badly she had been hurt in that place. Being the first to see her stranding on those barbwires let him with a pretty good idea of the scares she was going to get but, in the end, he was not prepared to fully see them. Because, ultimately, they were still a hard reminder of his own failure as partner and future husband. His heart constrained and tears raised to his eyes, but he manage to hold them back.

After a long breath, he gently wraped his arms around, silently carrying her into the toillet, just feeling the cumplicity that her nudeness granted him, and only him; thanking the Gods she was still there in the first place. Nikita needed him now, more then ever. She had always been fiercly independent, but, right now, she was depending on him and it felt good, for a change.

On the other hand, Nikita couldn't take her eyes off of Michael, hipnotized. He looked so sad all of a sudden and tired, dark circles under his eyes... yet a doleful smile lingering on his lips as he look at her. The way he was carrying her away ever so tightly, the way he softly sunk her down into the warm foam... It had been a long time... She almost forgotten how gentle he could be. She watched as he poured shampoo in his new hand and begin to wash her hair with soft circular moves. Nikita just leaned back against the tub and enjoyed those fingers. It almost lulled her to sleep. She felt so safe, so utterly protected...

Slowly she felt her body relax and just sank down completly.

Beeing under water brought her memories, she didn't knew she had. Recall, in fragments, of a purple warm world of never ending dunes, tumbled down sculptures and exuberant blue woods. Flower pedals dancing up in the air along with her in a non-interrupting flow of mistery.

It was not Heaven, it was not Hell, but some place between. A primordial Éden where tree roots bursted high to the sky and the silence reign absolute in a strange complacent way. It please her. It completed her somehow. She could stay there forever and she _would_ stay there forever, if it wasn't for that intriguing door hoovering high up above her, and that muffled sound behind it.

In a middle of emptyness, that door was luring her like a moth to a light. That voice that never ceased babbling. It soon enticed into an absolute urge to close on it. Just a few inches away of the red glass door and her intuition was suddenly screaming at her, not to touch it. But Nikita just_ had to_.

The handle greeted her with an overwhelming shock. Every muscle twitched and convulsed in distress as her body was trown back, but her hand never let go of the door. And like a giant conductor the ramling sounds became almost clear.

"_haaa oooo errr... _please_... lhaoo... _we_... _You have to_... ooooooo... _wake up, baby!" That voice! _Where did she knew that voice?_ It seemed so familiar... yet, so far and eerie.

Something inside came demanding her to follow _that_ voice, _even_ if it meant Pain! She clentch her teeth, induring the jolts trought her muscles, arched her torso, balanced her feet on the doorstand and broke the handle. Immediately, the door flew inside as a dark live lava twirled around her thightening her every member, squezing her merciless. Unlike what she was expecting it was freezing cold. She screamed in panic and it violently invaded her every mouth, choking her into a deadly silence. In a desperate move she stretched her head up and back figthting for release, fighting for air. But the ice mass rampantly froze her inside out, pain arrived along with a distintive fell of sudden weight and a huge bright light that stung her eyes as she, suddenly, emerged in a bathtub breathless. Her heart pounding loudly.

Michael was waiting for her with a towel on his hands, completly unaware of her violente flashback, with a warm patronizing smile that faded away the moment he saw Nikita gasping and he rushed to her side.

"Are you ok?"

It took her a moment to recognize where she was and calm her heart race. Nikita distintively recollected the struggle she had in Medical once she woke up. Still fighting the giant lava around her, only to find out, it was real hands and real screams in the first place.

Silently, he wrapped the towel around her, tucking her in. She shivered. Gently he cooped her face compeling her to look at him.

"Nikita... are you ok?" He repeated softly.

His voice... it was_ his _voice all along! Nikita stared at him. He had a concerned face. She had known Limbo and rebirth to get back to him... because of him. She knew that now.

As he was still waiting for her answer she just nodd, feeling a lumb on her trought. She thought she couldn't loved him anymore then she already did... She was wrong.

"Are you hungry? You shoud be... If you want I can..."

Tears rosed to her eyes and just before Michael could say another word, she pulled his face and captured his mouth in a raw, needy kiss. He almost felt on the water but manage to balance sharping it away in a gasp of surprise and pleasure while her towel felt aside.

"Nikita.." He averted his eyes, her hands recupped Michael's face, forcing him to drop on his knee as she re-kissing him with equal fervour, not giving up.

"Please Michael..." She pleaded breathless between kisses."... I need you..." .

When she moved toward him again, Michael reached out and gripped her wrists, summoning his last ounce of control. He still couldn't stare at her, because if he did he wouldn't be able to resist the urge and this was the right thing to do. She needed to recover.

"Nikita... please... you're hurt..."

Nikita's heart felt ten floors when she imagined the reason of his refusel and it, suddenly, drove her mad. She releasead herself with a violente twist of hands and yanked him back. Michael fall backwards on the floor as she got up in one enraged jump. Wich was actually amazing, since she could barely stand up. Her trembling legs moved only by pure anger made their way out of the tub at a mesmerized Michael.

"So: I'm not _pretty_ for you anymore!? IS THAT IT?!"

Michael arched his eyebrow in disbelief and shock.

"W-ha-t?" He staggered barely believing her body reaction further more her own insane conclusion. Now he was mad: _how could she thing that her scares was the reason of his refusel? _He copied her, jumped up and quickly approached her in a face-up atittude. She was ready to slap him. So, before anything else, he grabbed her arms and forced her to look into his green big eyes.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME!You..."

He lowered his lips and kissed the bruise on her shoulder.

"...are..."

Kissed the scar just above her breast.

"...the most..."

Kissed the lump beneath her tchin.

"...perfect women..."

He hoovered her lips barely brushing them.

"...I've ever met."

Nikita eyes melted.

"And you're _always_ will be, no matter what happens. Do you understand me?"

The silence became deafening, their eyes locked on each other. Both panting, longing for each other. Her scented dazzling naked body dripping sensualy teasing him.

At a single drop of water that dripped from her erect nipple, Michael simply snapped. His green eyes turned into a dark, hungry gaze.

"Ahh... Screw this!" He grunted between his teeth, he wanted this just as badly as she did. Hell, maybe even more!

Just as Nikita was about to apologize, he roughtly grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her for a passionate kiss that she fully responded. Wasting no time he hoisted her up back to the bedroom and layed her back to bed. He deseperatly got rid of all his cloths, never ever letting go of her delicious lips. As soon as his boxers hit the lamp and his socks hit the dresser, he slided beneath the sheets beside her wet, scented body. He would prove just how much he really loved her.

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**Part II is almost ready... Tell me what you think of this Chapter.**


	6. Chapter 5 - Part II

**Chapter 5 - Part II**

"Nikita…" - He breathed between her lips, his breath breathing hottly against his. - "Let me..."

He didn't bother ending his sentence, instead he began to demonstrate just what he wanted. He positioned himself on top of her and signed her to be still while he teased leisurely along Nikita's neck, sampling it with deep wet kisses and ended with a little bite. She yelped in surprise.

He moved to her clavicle hovering it with soft blows just before accepting the tempting invitation of her delicious breasts with its stiff nipples and wrapping his lips and hands around it. His tongue first used softly before he began to suckle at it. He heard Nikita's breath becoming more labored and he felt her heartbeat through her chest as she moaned louder.

Michael stood there until her moans incresed louder than expected and then moved along the gorgeous belly button, into her soft thighs just kissing them, and only then he allowed his head to drift to her clit. He hadn't even touched her yet there but he could already tell she was dripping for him.

He spread her legs wide open. Her scent was sweet and musky, making him grow, even more, in anticipation. It was such an erotic scent that with no hesitation he suncked his mouth on it, devouring it.

Nikita let out a shaky breath, her heart beating wildly as she felt his tongue slider along the length of her. Licking and then swirled it around her sensitive flesh in a perfect combination of suction and pressure. She slamed his head closer and he smeared into her running juices with an unceasing hunger, deepening the moves. That was enough to make Nikita lose her mind. Within minutes she was screaming mindlessly, while he held her hips down with both hands, until she flew over the edge into a double orgasm, yelling Michael's name as she lost herself.

He groaned as he felt her spasming against his mouth and it drove him wild. Slumping against her body, he position himself between her legs, his arms behind her shoulders carefull to not directly press his weight on her, nestling tight against her breathless body. His poll head pressing gently up against her pink lips, for a second. He stealed yet another wet kiss from her lips. Needing to catch his breath, Michael broke the kiss as he gaze deeply into her eyes.

"Nikita..." He husked gasping, while slowly, controlobly, slid inside her drenched stretching lips inch by inch, wanting her full focus on him, as he did.

She panted and arched her back to better feel Michael's bulbous cock sinking in. After his complete lenght was fed up into her, he stopped, barely resisting the impulse to move, to lose himself deep inside of her. Waives of deliciousness, and warmth, holding them laced together, just feeling one another.

He almost lost his goal just by the simple sight of her delightness beneath him.

"...promise me..." Michael cupped her left cheek while his eyes deepen the look. He could fell her all body trembling with pleasure. It was driving him crazy. He took a couple of deep breaths to control it.

Nikita, on the other hand, managed to slightly wiggled her hips, feeling the veiny, pulsing penis, massaging her inner walls, bringing them both ripples of pleasure. They both groaned but Michael pinned her down with a violente waist move that stunned her into disbelieve.

"Stop!" He yelled suddenly angry. Angry at his body: too tense to be controled. Angry at her for always pushing him to the limit in any matter. Angry she felt so deliciously good. Angry she was so damn beautiful. He smothed his features. "Promise me..." He panted.

"What?..." Nikita's gasped desperate for his move. She would say anything to make him move.

"Promise me, you'll never do something like that again." He rasped in a voice hoarse with emotion.

Nikita shivered at his plead. His shaft pulsed inside, he was driving her crazy and he knew it, but she also knew what he meant. Michael's eyes were so sad, almost hopeless and teary.

"Please Nikita..." He was holding her now with both hands on her face. "I can't lose you again. PROMISE ME!" He yelled.

Nikita knew he wouldn't move until he hear her say it. He needed to hear her say it.

"Yes! I promise." She simply said, honestly.

Michael nodded before he let a grieved smile and fully merge their mouths together in a deseperate, and started to move inside of her. Thrusting up and down, making her moan in desire into their conjoined mouths. She started moving against him in return, her hips rocking against his in a slow, steady moves.

They were in perfect unison, perfect pace together. Eventually their lips parted and their eyes met, staying locked as they moved together as one. Their eyes said more than their mouths could ever have: love, devotion, desire, it was all there.

"Never leave me!" Michael demanded in a whisper as he thrusted himself deeper and stronger.

"Never!" She swared.

Nikita panted and moaned. She managed to release one of her hands and dug her nails into Michael's back, pulling him closer. He screamed in surprise and pain as her nails marked red scratchs, but he just aceppted it as one of the many punishements he deserved. With his free hand he gripped the back of her shoulder, and thrusted harder. She cryed as she felt him deepen into her.

Their lips came together as their motions speed. Frantic gasps and grunts slipped past their lips as they lost themselves in each other. There was no separation between them, just their joined bodies and the pleasure that spiraled through both of them. Michael thrusted her with long, deep strokes. Each swipe of cock drove her higher and higher and made her arch beneath him as a live snake.

Michael trembled against her, unraveling at the perfection of their love making. He wanted to make it last forever, but he knew it couldn't. Even now her warmth was driving him mad, the slickness of her walls as they clutched him tighter making him moan in delight.

Their breaths was ragged and heavy, their body drenched in sweat as they dance together.

"Michael!" Nikita gasped as she drew close to orgasm.

Michael groaned. He didn't know how much longer he could hold on as an insane thought warmed his mind.

"Nikita..." He gasped raggedly. "I'm not going to stop..."

She suddenly froze to gaze at him although he didn't, he kept the rytham steady, secure. She dugged her nails out of his back and spread them along his face.

"Michael... I'm not..."

_"On the pill for fourteen days..."_ He tought.

He slowed the pace. His eyes meet hers, somehow, silencing her doubts.

"I know..."

Michael hoovered her lips, pecking then, gently kissing them. He lean on one side while his hand slowly explored the lenght of her body, making her moan and arching her leg.

"Ooooohhh... Mi-chael..."

"Do this for me. It's time."

He knew her body so well, he _knew_ she was about to come. He just had to hang on for a few more seconds. He couldn't lose himself. _Who was he kidding? He was always lost in her_, _for her... _

"Come for me."

"Together?" She moaned breathless.

"Always!" Michael promised as he join their lips together and interwined his fingers on hers.

Nikita broke the kiss to screamed his name as her climax rocked her, sending ripples of pleasure spiraling through her. As soon as Nikita's walls started rippling around him, Michael lost all control and he fully spread his seed inside of her, tilting his head back and crying out her name just as loudly as she had called his. The sound of their voices echoed together, filling the room as they lost themselves, convulsing as their bodys merged together in one.

Her inner walls clenching tightly around him, still pulsing long after he collapsed across her chest, utterly spent. Even so, still, he didn't want to move from inside of her. He could feel himself softening within her, but he allowed himself to linger inside of her as long as he could, savoring the feel of her betting heart beneath him. Somehow guaranteeing every last seed was inside of her. The pleasure of her warming flesh spasming around him, milking him. They were perfect for each other. He had missed her so much.

Suddenly he remember her wounds and cursed himself for his insensitivity. He gently and quickly pulled himself off of her and tucked her into his side. He wrapped his arms around her and fit himself in against her back, kissing the scar on her shoulder and holding her protectively.

A deep feeling of silent peace settled over them, cloaking them like a warm blanket. As that was what it meant to be. A moment of utterly bliss that hold their bodys and souls together in blood, sweet, pain but specially in love. A love so big was only meant for big history lovers, most of them always ending up in a brave sacrifice. _Well_, he would make sure that _that _would never happen on _their _story.

Nikita eyes slowly closing out of exaustion and satisfaction. She constriged a bit while caressing the arm around her and broke the silence.

"Michael..." Nikita murmured "I'm sor..."

"Shhhhh... " He hummed in return, feeling the slumber appeal too. He didn't want to ear it. Not now. Recalling everything that had happened before until that perfect moment would ruined the bliss he felt. "Not now... I love you, Nikita."

She smiled.

"I love you too." She said before her breath evened out and she felt asleep wrapped in his arms.

He wanted to stay awake, to keep watching over her, as she slept on his arms...

_I'll never let you go, Nikita._

When he slamed the alarm clock that just started buzzing on, he smirked... Nikita doesn't seem to notice his sudden move. A smile was plattered on her lips while she is in deep sleep.

_Might as well take the day off too_.

He hold Nikita closer, unwittingly, his hand secure her belly, caressing it hopefully, as he let himself lulled by her steady breathing.

He gladly welcomed the sleep that overtook him, knowing that she was still going to be there by the time he'd wake up and_ that _was_ all _that mattered to Michael - her.

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**Right! It's over! Are you still alive? ^^ I hope you tell me what you thing about it... Please Review...**


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